So I suck at blogging...

...and this is why it took me so long to BEGIN blogging! I just have a hard time staying with it for a long period of time. I obsess over something for a while and then I move on to obsess about something else. But anyway, an update!



My daughter is 14 months old today! WOW!! I just can't believe it!! She is still a tiny girl but growing like mad. lol She still won't let go and walk on her own but she crawls fast and walks around walls and anything she can get a hold of. She's into everything already and has such a little attitude! I still say her first sentence will be "I'll do it myself!"



As for me and my progress towards my goals....eh... I'm still cloth diapering and have my momma cloth but that's about where the "green" has stopped. I still feel like that is making a difference though. I'm sure I'll come back around to obsess over "green" again eventually. :)

The whole reducing debt thing has been a slow moving item too. All my money goes to the daycare. Some weeks are better than others but daycare really should be called the slow finance death...that's what it feels like. However, Little S LOVES daycare and is thriving there! My stress level is more tolerable and (other than money) things have been much easier since starting daycare!



Now, what I choose to obsess over at this time, it FINALLY my health and fitness. I haven't been able to movtivate myself since I got pregnant for Little S in 2008! That's truely a long time to go without exercising regularly and paying attention to what I eat! So I'm now doing my best to get moving. I've been walking on the treadmill while babywearing Little S and I just started walking on my lunch break yesterday. What I really want to do is start the Couch to 5K program. It just seems like I'm not even "couch" yet. :( I have NEVER been a runner or athletic in any way for that matter. I've said more than once that I'd run if being chased by someone with a knife....or zombies. hehehe... Now that I feel more like the Marshmellow Man, I decide that running sounds like great fun. LOL I am going to continue to walk a while longer before I start the Couch to 5k program though. Just not ready and I really HAVE to be ready to stick with it. In addition to the walking, I've been writing down everything I eat/drink. I've tried this in the past and haven't made it past a couple days or just lied about things. Nothing like lying to yourself!! This time, I'm being honest in hopes of results. I have a tiny journal I keep in my purse and write down all the food/drink/exercise each day....I'm now on day 4. Come on, Katie, you can do it!!! (I guess I need to be my own cheerleader too! lol)

What's going on....

It's been a while since I've blogged!! AHH! I feel that I've been in such a rut lately. I don't feel like doing anything! You know when there are things you really need to do but you avoid it by doing silly things because you really don't want to do the things you really need to do? (Like play on facebook or blogger or game of chioce) I'm to the point where I'm tired of doing the silly things so I'm going back to the things I need to do out of boredom and still feeling horrible about it. Yes, I'm getting more things done but I feel even further into this rut. Blah!

But, on a positive note!! I went to see Eclipse....and I took my 11 month old! **GASP** Yes, the baby went to the movie theater too. We went to the 12:30 (noon) showing, not many people were there. We sat near the exit. She did really good!! She chilled and ate puffs for the first part. I did have to leave to change a diaper once. She took a nice nap. Squealed a couple times when she woke up and we stood up in the entry isle with her for a bit and she was fine! The most noise she made was when she coughed once! SUCCESS!! Not something I want to do very often but it went way better than it could have. We still got a couple dirty looks but you'll have that, I guess!

Little S. is up to 6 teeth now! She'll be a year this month and I just can't believe it. I think this has been the fastest year of my life! I am just consumed with joy and love for this little girl!! Being a mommy is the best thing I've ever done!

Taser Certification for Hubby

Being shot with a taser is NOT my idea of a good time! Hubby has been a police officer for nearly 8 years and swore he would never be certified to carry a taser gun. In order to carry a taser, an officer must first be shot with a taser. (Thankfully, this rule doesn't apply to their duty guns!) Well, recently Hubby has been working with law enforcement on a bigger scale than the city police department that signs his pay checks. I think this fact finally pushed him to go get his taser. I figured that every other officer that carries one has been thru it fine so Hubby would be shot (tased) in the back, be sore for a little while and go on about life! Yeah...not so much...

Hubby had his training on Thursday. While the other men going thru training stood there, ready, TASED!! My Hubby got asked numerous times if he was ready...was he SURE he was ready...was he REALLY ready... until he lost it!! He got angry and told them to just do it already. As the last word left his mouth, 5 seconds of taser hit him in the back and down he went. Let's consider this for a moment. What happens to your body, to your MUSCLES when you get irritated, upset or angry?? Think about the tensed up muscles and the slight turn of his body as he comments to the man standing behind him with a taser. This was not a surprised hit in a relaxed back as it was meant to be. I believe this was a big part of his training going bad.

Since his training, Hubby has been in serious back pain. Some points in the day are better than others. He puts up a good front at work. At home, he can barely get out of bed in the morning and is constantly wanting me to rub his back or try to adjust it for him. I really only expected this to last a day or two and then his muscles would go back to normal. It's now Weds and I just made him an appointment with the chiropractor. I really hope that they can help him. It really sucks that after years of chasing bad guys (and girls), a training class takes the man down. :(

Oh! And you should see the little holes it left it his back! They look better now but they were all bloody and irritaed right after. One hit him in the upper/mid back and the other hit his lower back. Sounds like a grand time, doesn't it?? My office job isn't so bad after all...

Working Mommy Woes

I named my blog to reflect that I work, but I really haven't blogged much about it. I'm really not that happy with what I do. I didn't care much for it before I had Little S. and now that she's here, I completely resent coming to work most of the time. I have tried to convince myself that I am working so I can take care of her. I have health insurance. I need my income to pay bills. Even though I live in an office in the basement, I do see my coworkers when I want to. It's some adult socializing even if it's minimal. As a family, we need my job right now. My brain knows this....my heart isn't buying it. More than anything, I just want to be home with my baby girl! I feel horribly guilty each day when I drop her off at the day care. I know she has fun there...I know she's safe there. While I'm there with her, she's laughing and clapping and minutes after I leave, she's a happy girl. It's those minutes while I'm trying to leave that wrenches at my heart strings. As soon as she sees that I'm about to leave, she throws herself forward screaming and crying big allegator tears! :( It's all I can do to leave her that way. If I just stand outside the door for a bit, I can hear that she's fine. The guilt is still there regardless...

As you can tell from my blog, it's important to me to be close to my baby. Breastfeeding is important and, thankfully, we're still at it at nearly 11 months! It's been much harder to continue this while working and pumping, but I'm proud of myself for staying with it! I have really enjoyed babywearing with Little S. She's getting a bit big for it these days, but there was a time when I would strap her on as soon as I got home so we could have some close mommy/baby time. I could tell she missed me and wanted to be close. I'd wear her while going for walks and going shopping too. I wish that I had been able to wear her more.

Cloth diapering has also become important to me. It's also more of a challenge while working full time but, as with breastfeeding, we are overcoming obstacles to make it work! Thankfully, out daycare is willing to use them as well so we don't have to worry about disposables at all! :)

My point, everything that is important to me to do for my baby is so much harder while working full time. Even though I'm following thru with these things, I still don't feel that I can give her (or my job or my husband) all the attention I want or need too. I'm always falling shorter than I find acceptable somewhere.

To brighten my day, and maybe yours too, here's my Little S. showing that big cheeser smile that I love so much!

Going Greener - Mama Cloth

My first impression of mama cloth - "NO WAY!!!" Now, I am slowly building my stash. :)

I have been cloth diapering Little S. for months now and love cloth diapering! A fluffy bum is so cute!! While checking out sites on cloth diapers, I first learned about mama cloth. (For those who may not of heard of this before, it's pads for that time of the month.) I was sure that there was absolutly no way I could ever use mama cloth! I thought they would be super icky to clean and who wants to wash stinky blood anyway! Well, the more I read, the more I learned. These women say that, after using mama cloth for a while, their periods become shorter, they have less cramps and that cloth is way more comfortable! As far as being stinky, I guess disposable pads stink so bad because of blood reacting with all the chemicals in them....which means that cloth pads aren't really so stinky after all!

Then, what about stains? I HATE stains and work on keeping Little S.'s diapers as stain free as possible. Surely, it isn't possible to not have blood stain. ~sigh~ Guess what?? I was wrong here too!!! Minky fabric doesn't stain!! WOOT! Have you felt minky fabric? It's wonderful!

Sooooo...I took the plunge! I first bought a set of 6 pantyliners. All minky topped with a fleece backing. The fleece serves as a waterproof barrier to protect your clothes as well as keep the pad from shifting. Oh Oh OH!! and fleece BREATHS too!! BONUS!! After receiving the pantyliners, I ordered a couple light/regular flow pads as well (minky with fleece again). I plan on continuing to add to my stash until I feel I have enough. "Aunt Flo" has not returned for me yet so I'll continue to prepare and I highly doubt that I'll turn back to regular disposable pads unless it's an emergency.

I have purchased my mama cloth from Tree Hugger on Hyena Cart. There are many ladies out there making mama cloth that you can search for both on Hyena Cart as well as other websites. You can even make your own if you're feeling ambitious!! Even though they may first seem like a yucky idea - they are really worth a try!!

On a side note - if you're more of a tampon kinda girl, you can always look into the Diva Cup as a more natural and environmentally friendly option!

Picture from http://hyenacart.com/TreeHugger/index.php?c=0&p=48139

Making a Father's Day Card

After must irritation about Father's Day cards (see last post), I decided to make one with Little S. I thought it'd be extra special that way! I got fingerpaint and let her pick out what color she wanted to use. I also let her pick out what crayons to use for the lettering. :) She had so much fun with the painting! I also let her put some heart stickers on the card. Some made it and she tried to eat a few too. LOL I wrote a poem for the inside and I think we did a good job! We had fun and Hubby loved it!

That was pretty much the only good thing about Father's Day at my house yesterday. ~sigh~ I won't go into all that though. To much drama!!

What's in a card

I know that some people buy cards for every occasion. I am NOT one of these people. I feel no reason to go pay $4.99 for a St Patrick's Day card that will probably never be opened by the receiver. To me, this is a waste of money. When the day truly deserves a card, I do put a lot into choosing the right one. This month is hubby's first real Father's Day. To me, this is a big deal! (Even if he didn't make a big deal over my first real Mother's Day...he's a man and that's an excuse.) I plan on taking our baby out and reading cards with her to find the perfect card to give her daddy. I will have her scribble her little baby mark on the inside and make a big deal giving it to hubby on his day. I feel that this process is special.

That being said, yesterday my mother in law presented me with a Father's Day card she bought for Little S to give to hubby. She told me I should have Little S scribble in it and that can be her gift for her daddy. I was completely offended! Not only was she trying to take away my planned outing with my daughter to find the perfect card, but the gesture also inferred that I wasn't capable of purchasing a good card on my own. I told her that I was capable of purchasing my own cards to which she responded by telling me that she bought my Mother's Day card from Little S too. :( I kinda figured she did as hubby works constantly and, let's face it, he's a man. He doesn't always think of these things. I just tried not to think about it at the time. I thought it was rude that she would tell me that now. I took the card but made it known that I wasn't really happy about her overstepping her bounds. She stayed at my house the rest of the evening and I really didn't talk to her anymore.

The more I think about this, the more it bothers me. I think I'm going to give the card back to her and tell her to try to get her money back before Father's Day. She is the type to buy card for EVERYTHING so, I'd hope she would understand my need to make it special. I hate that something so simple and good meaning is bothering me so much.