Working Mommy Woes

I named my blog to reflect that I work, but I really haven't blogged much about it. I'm really not that happy with what I do. I didn't care much for it before I had Little S. and now that she's here, I completely resent coming to work most of the time. I have tried to convince myself that I am working so I can take care of her. I have health insurance. I need my income to pay bills. Even though I live in an office in the basement, I do see my coworkers when I want to. It's some adult socializing even if it's minimal. As a family, we need my job right now. My brain knows this....my heart isn't buying it. More than anything, I just want to be home with my baby girl! I feel horribly guilty each day when I drop her off at the day care. I know she has fun there...I know she's safe there. While I'm there with her, she's laughing and clapping and minutes after I leave, she's a happy girl. It's those minutes while I'm trying to leave that wrenches at my heart strings. As soon as she sees that I'm about to leave, she throws herself forward screaming and crying big allegator tears! :( It's all I can do to leave her that way. If I just stand outside the door for a bit, I can hear that she's fine. The guilt is still there regardless...

As you can tell from my blog, it's important to me to be close to my baby. Breastfeeding is important and, thankfully, we're still at it at nearly 11 months! It's been much harder to continue this while working and pumping, but I'm proud of myself for staying with it! I have really enjoyed babywearing with Little S. She's getting a bit big for it these days, but there was a time when I would strap her on as soon as I got home so we could have some close mommy/baby time. I could tell she missed me and wanted to be close. I'd wear her while going for walks and going shopping too. I wish that I had been able to wear her more.

Cloth diapering has also become important to me. It's also more of a challenge while working full time but, as with breastfeeding, we are overcoming obstacles to make it work! Thankfully, out daycare is willing to use them as well so we don't have to worry about disposables at all! :)

My point, everything that is important to me to do for my baby is so much harder while working full time. Even though I'm following thru with these things, I still don't feel that I can give her (or my job or my husband) all the attention I want or need too. I'm always falling shorter than I find acceptable somewhere.

To brighten my day, and maybe yours too, here's my Little S. showing that big cheeser smile that I love so much!

Rave for CJ's BUTTer!!!

I just started using this awesome product today and I'm already in LOVE!!! I ordered the sampler because I couldn't decide on only ONE scent and I really wanted to try them all! LOL The sampler comes with 8 different scents in 0.5 oz tubs. I think this will be perfect in that I can have some at the changing table, in diaper bags, and at the daycare! :D

I went ahead and put some on little S's behind this evening....she really doesn't get diaper rash. She was slightly red (SLIGHTLY) and by the next diaper change the red was completely gone! This stuff rocks! Oh, yes it is cloth diaper friendly where most (if not all) diaper rash creams found in the store are NOT cloth diaper friendly. I am so happy with this product that I want to share with everyone!

To buy some to rave about for yourself, go to http://www.cjsewingroom.com/ and see what you might like! It looks like she's just rolled out some new goodies as well!

(Image borrowed from CJ's Sewing room website)

Cloth Diapers made me TWEET!!

For a long time I avoided all the online social networks. While trying to get pregnant for S, I joined my first forum! By the time I was pregnant, I was a board host and I was loving it! I met lots of friends there that I still talk to now as we watch our babies grow. Some of those friends talked me into trying Facebook. ADDICTING!! I am now a facebook freak and wouldn't want to live without it! I can share baby pictures with most of my friends and family with a click of a button.

I began learning about cloth diapers from the forum I participate on. I found and talked to other ladies that used them and it helped me believe that I could do it too. Then I became a fan of different diapers I tried on facebook. Soon I found myself joining another forum JUST for diapers! http://www.diaperswappers.com/! It's also addictive but in a more monetary way. They have a buy/trade/sell area and it's just way to easy to get excited and buy to much!

While going thru my initials trails of cloth diapering, I also realized that I could blog about this stuff! So here's my new (and only..) blog!

Last night, I found out about Twitter and that there are Twitter parties where I can possibly win FREE cloth diapers! So, naturally, I signed up in hopes of being able to feed my addiction!

That's how cloth diapering led me to tweet, blog, facebook and forum post! lol Here's a couple pics of some of my diaper stash. Not all are included and I also have some GroBaby diapers too!
The first picture is of BumGenius AIO Organics...


And this picture is most of my BumGenius Pocket diapers and a couple BumGenius AIOs!

Green Mommy by accident

I have never been known for being "green" or super into the whole "save the environment" movement. We don't recycle anymore, we drive whatever vehicles we want with the only concern being the cost of gas to run it. Hybrids are to expensive to buy. We leave lights on and use resources poorly at times. I really need to do better following up on somethings that are within our control.

That said, yesterday at church I was talking with some other mommies and mentioned breastfeeding. They were shocked! They said that you just don't hear about people doing that anymore. Huh?? Then I mentioned that I used cloth diapers too and that got an even more surprised reaction. I expected an amazed reaction about the diapers but not so much the breastfeeding! The one mommy said "Wow...you're just an all natural mom, aren't you?" Who? me? Seriously? I guess I'm getting more green all the time! I guess I am a pretty natural mommy! I sure didn't start it to be green....I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. It just seemed like the best thing for me and my baby and it meant I didn't have to spend all that money on formula! Save money, good for baby - win win, right?! The cloth diapers - I started them because I thought there were super cute! Also, I really don't want to keep buying sposies that just gets thrown away. It really feels like throwing away money. Also, my nursery was beginning to smell like poo all the time! I guess you're really supposed to dump poo out of sposies too but I don't know anyone who does! Even the diaper genie could not contain the smell once we started baby food. Since using cloth, NO SMELL!! I dump, dunk, swish - whatever I need to do to remove the poo and then throw it in the pail!

I guess I'm a green mommy by default! I still have many other areas of my life that could be "greener" but one thing at a time, I guess! Being that diapers take 500 years to disintegrate in a landfill, I feel like I'm making a difference even if small compared to the whole.

Getting braver!

Sunday was the first day I took Sheridan to church wearing a cloth diaper. As each week passes I'm getting braver with the cloth and I love it more and more! We went thru the whole service without having to leave to change her diaper AND no leaks!!! Awesome! I just changed her immediately when we got home. She was wet but not soaked! I used the BG AIO. I must admitt that I did get a little nervous when she was playing on another ladies lap and fell asleep. You know leaks always happen on other people! The thing is though - it can happen with sposies too!

I am officially addicted, if I haven't said that already! lol I just ordered 3 more GroBabies because they were buy 2 get one free from Jillian's Drawers!! WOO HOO!! I also have some more BGs coming because I used the coupon - buy one get one free! LOVE IT!! I'm tempted to find other online stores to use more than one coupon. I'm so rediculous!

Bloomer Day at my House!

Yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL day!! I couldn't wait to get out of work so I could enjoy the sunshine! It uplifts the mood and makes everything better! I took advantage of the pretty day to hang my new BumGenius diapers on the line. I love the colorful display! I got so overly excited about this (hence the photos!) and still smile when I look at the photos. :) I am very thankful for a big yard with a clothesline. I hope that thru my excitement I can teach others about cloth diapering and help spread the word! I never dreamed I'd get so excited over diapers!

Addicted to cloth diapers! Do what???

I'm seriously tring to pull myself away from diaper websites! Thank goodness there's not a real store in my area or I'd be in trouble! I'm finding diapers on sale, in big packages, and even some for free!! I don't want to stop buying! They are all so cute and there are so many options! I feel like a kid in a candy store! Yet....I find this addiction very strange... I mean, this is something my kid is going to poop in! I just ...can't...stop...

I still have some diapers coming in the mail. Those in the cloth diaper circle call it "fluffy mail". LOVE IT!!! Once I get everything I've ordered I will have a stash of:

3 BumGenius All-In-Ones
5 BumGenius Organic One size
2 BumGenius One Size Fleece
7 BumGenius One Size Pocket 3.0
6 GroBaby Shells
12 GroBaby soakers
3 GroBaby boosters
3 Hemp Baby Doublers

I'm really starting to wonder if I'll really be saving money by cloth diapering. I think eventually I will. I am not allowing myself to order anymore and I'm hoping to use these diapers on a second child someday. We'll see how they hold up! I keep reminding myself that even though I may not be saving tons of the green, I am helping the environment by eliminating some of my footprint in hope of a greener tomorrow.

Officially Cloth Diapering!

I have received most of my stash of BumGenius now!! I love cloth diapering so far! SOOO cute! There are such pretty colors and little S. seems so happy in her new pants. Last night was her first night in cloth and I must admit that I was nervous. It was completely successful!! No leaks at all! Today will be the hubby's first day giving it a try. I SOOO hope it goes well. I want him to be supportive in all this too. He is willing to try so that's a plus for sure!

The Cloth Trials

I have now tried each diaper in my trial from Jillian's Drawers except the prefolds. :) The cover they sent to use with them left red marks around little S's thighs and seemed super wide! I'm also not real comfortable with folding them and such. Anyway! I ordered more BumGenius! I will have a stash of 5 BumGenius Organic AIO's with snaps, 7 BumGenius 3.0 pockets, 1 BumGenius AIO Medium. I'm still considering keeping the GroBaby. I really like it right now but I'm just not sure how these diapers are going to "grow" with my baby. She is wearing it on the highest setting right now. It's super cute though and it hasn't leaked yet! I will be returning the largest portion of the trial package soon. I am really glad I gave it a try like this though! It was really encouraging and a good way to show my husband how different cloth diapers are these days!

Sheridan's Drawers

We received our trial pack from Jillian's Drawers! I am super excited to give these diapers a try! Last night was our first time ever using a cloth diaper. I chose to start with FuzziBunz. It didn't require to be washed and dried 3+ times before use and the inside seemed the softest to me. I put it on the smallest settings and it looked to me like it fit her ok! She seemed happy enough and it didn't leak! It did leave track marks around her thighs though. I don't know if this is normal for these diapers or not. The pampers never left marks around her legs. I have inquired about such things and will see what others have to say. I plan on trying the BumGenius 3.0 pocket diaper tonight as well as the GroBaby...maybe. :)

Saving money now or later...

There are some things I do as a parent and I know I'm saving money now. Breastfeeding is one of those things. It was truely one of the most difficult things I'd ever done when my daughter was first born....but after we got the hang of it, it's one of the easiest things! I haven't had to buy any formula in her 7.5 months of life! I am so super proud of that fact! Breastfeeding is so good for baby and mommy - and the family wallet! I do pump every day at work with a pump that is on loan for free. This also helps as a new Medela is close to $300. I still think it would have been worth buying though. The pump would have been one of those items (had I had to buy one) that makes me question whether it's worth buying it now and saving money in the long run....or just paying for the formula and having the payments spread over time even though I'd end up spending more. Sometimes upfront costs are hard!!



I am at a crossroads with the cloth diapers in regards to the cost. Currently, I'm spending about $20 on diapers every week and a half - 2 weeks. Plus wipes and diaper genie refills. Depending on who babysits during the day also effects the number of diapers we go thru. The cost over time is insane!! Not to mention horrible to our environment!! I really think cloth diapering would be SO much better overall. However, I'm going to need a few hundred dollars to start them the way I want too. Pocket diapers are $10-$25 each depending on brand and where you buy them. I figure those kind will be the most husband and sitter friendly. Then I am buying cloth wipes and a diaper pail and a wet bag. I hear most cloth diapering parents get addicted to buying cloth and just can't stop! :) $$$$ I was telling my mother about the price of these new modern diapers last night and she just couldn't believe that ONE diaper cost so much. She also thinks I'm crazy for messing with them at all. ~sigh~ In my mind, about 6 months of buying disposables would buy a stash of cloth that would last til my daughter was potty trained and I can still use them for another baby. I think we need to find the money somewhere now...it will be worth it in so many ways!

Fluffy Bum - Here We Come!

I caught my husband at a good moment and he agreed to letting me try cloth diapers! I have ordered a 21 day trial package from www.jilliansdrawers.com and I can't wait to get it!! I'm so excited! I have been in search of laundry soap and am just ready to get started! The diapers shipped out today so I should have them in the next couple days. I am having them delivered to work so I can share them with the other mommys here. Everyone thinks I'm crazy when I say something about wanting to use cloth. I want to show them all how far cloth has come!

I will keep posting on my cloth diapering journey!

The Great Bum Debate

Cloth diapers vs. disposables.... most people think I'm crazy for even considering cloth diapers! However, they aren't your mom's/grandma's cloth diapers! The new "modern" cloth are pretty awesome, actually. There are diapers now available that go on just as easy as a disposable using velcro or snaps! How handy! This seems to make it easier to convince daycares and spouses to give them a try as well.

That must being said....I'm READY to give them a try! I've been researching like an obsessive crazy person. My hold up: my husband.

Me: "We could save tons of money!"

Husband: "I'd rather pay $4,000 then to try them! No way!!"

So here I sit with my "fluffy" wishlist and desire to try and no spousal blessing to do so! I am weighing my options. Option 1: Forget about cloth and continue to throw money away on sposies and fill up the world's landfills a little more. Everyone else is doing it! Option 2: Forget the hubby and do what I want to anyway! Option 3: Try talking to him one last time. Suggest that we do a $10/21 day trial pack to see if we both can handle the task. I might completely change my mind once I get started! (I doubt it though...I'm just weird enough that I'l probably think it's fun!)

I had considered gdiapers while pregnant and talked myself out of it because of the extra laundry and working full time. I'm finding that laundry is actually one thing that I'm doing well with right now and that a couple more loads a week isn't really going to make much difference to me. I've found that the child care provider is also at least willing to give cloth a try too. I think that it's doable....and if it's not, I can always send all the diapers back after the trial period and only be out $10!

So I guess we'll see what the next couple weeks bring. Stay tuned to find out if I get to try cloth or if my Little S remains in her sposies!